Armenia, Russia, and the Elimination of the West

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The West is not only where the sun goes to die every day, it is where in today’s world morality, conservatism, family, healthy diet, marriage, heterosexuality, apostolic Christianity, and political wisdom have gone to die. But like our world’s star, it is in the East that all of these virtues have risen again, hoisted back into the heavens on the shoulders of the Great Czar of the Eurasian Union, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Western governments spread chaos and revolution. Western media spreads Russophobia, misinformation and propaganda. Western corporations enslave and exploit countries in the third world. Western Union charges a ten per cent fee on money transfers overseas. Western Bacon Cheeseburgers spread obesity and raise the risk of heart disease.

The West wants to drive a Western wedge between the emerging anti-Western alliance forming among the Russian Bear and its menagerie of allies, the Chinese Dragon, the Indian Tiger, the Brazilian Macawe, and the South African Elephant Shrew.

Trinity Compass

The problem is the West, and so the solution is clear: the cardinal direction “West” must be erased from every GPS, printed map, sundial, road sign, weathercock and boy scout’s compass and the world must convert to a three point cardinal direction system consisting of only North, South and East. A trinity is good enough for the Russian Orthodox Church, it will be good enough for the new multi-polar Eurasian World Order. With the elimination of the evil orientation which kills the sun every day and breeds all the world’s problems, an eternal light will shine on the whole world. A period of peace lasting a thousand years will commence under a Pax Orientalis lead first by Czar Putin and afterwards by a series of genetic clones of the original Putin.

In this new Eurasian World Order, there will be no more West and therefore no more evil. But to ensure the West never returns from the underworld, every name that contains the word West or Western will be changed to the word “queef”. Kim Kardashian’s negro husband will be known as Kanye Queef, and their mulatto son will be known as North Queef. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly will be known as a “Spaghetti Queef”. Erich Maria Remarque’s book on WWI will be known as All Quiet on the Queef Front.

Armenia must be ready for the elimination of the West and the coming Pax Orientalis. In anticipation of this event, Armenia must send earth and water to the Kremlin and become a province of the Eurasian Union, which I believe is a reincarnation of the Persian Empire, just as the West is possessed by the ghost of Julius Caesar and the Roman Empire. At this moment in history, Armenia must get on its knees like it has never gotten on its knees before. Anyone who is not enthusiastic about complete surrender to the Russian Bear and who does not completely endorse and cheer Czar Putin’s every Grand-masterful chess move, is a Western paid homosexual psi-op agent whose blood must be spilled as a human sacrifice to God and his divine instrument, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Let us end, as always, by reciting the anthem of the Great Soviet  Eurasian Union.

United forever in friendship and labour,
Our mighty republics will ever endure.
The Great Soviet Eurasian Union will live through the ages.
The dream of a people their fortress secure.

Long live our Soviet Eurasian motherland,
Built by the people’s mighty hand.
Long live our people, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our crimson flag inspire,
Shining in glory for all men to see.

Through days dark and stormy where Great Lenin Putin lead us
Our eyes saw the bright sun of freedom above
And Stalin Putin our leader with faith in the people,
Inspired us to build up the land that we love

Long live our Soviet Eurasian motherland,
Built by the people’s mighty hand.
Long live our people, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our crimson flag inspire,
Shining in glory for all men to see.

Razmik

Razmik "Razboynik" Avetisyan

Razmik "Razboynik" Avetisyan is The Paper Ladle's Russia expert and author of the column "Razboynik's Putin Warship". He is a graduate of the Novosibirsk Nautical Institute and later became an acolyte of National Bolshevik philosopher Alexander Dugin in Moscow. He now lives with his wife Oksana and their three children in Queef Hollywood, California.
Razmik

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